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When Visiting the Sick is Visting a Friend
Ever since my friend Jo lined up behind me during middle school gym class, we've managed to giggle our way through some of life's tough lessons. In 21 years of friendship, there have been many. Yet just last month the toughest lesson unexpectedly came our way.
I don't think there is anything that prepares you for hearing a friend say: "I have cancer." For Jo, the challenge was clear: fight this disease and live. As her friend, I was at a loss. I didn't know what to do.
Not unlike any other Sunday afternoon, Jo and I made plans to get together last weekend. For the first time, I was not looking forward to seeing her. I was afraid to hear about chemotherapy. I was afraid to give bad wig advice. I was afraid I'd cry when I saw her. But I also knew that for all the reasons why I was afraid, were all the reasons why it was important to see her.
We met at Starbucks and ordered our usual: two grande skim peppermint hot chocolates with whip. Jo talked about her plans to shave her head in advance of her hair falling out. "And I need to find a good stylist to make my wig hair look good," she told me. Even sick, you're still the vainest person I know, I said. Instantly, we started laughing until our eyes filled with tears. Later, as we scurried out, the barista smiled at us.
The Jewish tradition of bikkur cholim, visiting the sick, is an act of great kindness because it is so difficult. As friends, human beings and Jews, to offer others comfort and to face illness with acceptance and humor is to experience healing. Wishing my friend a "Refuah Shleimah" was more than blessing her with a speedy recovery; it was blessing our friendship with the strength to go on.
Suzanne Kurtz
Editor, Hillel Campus Report
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