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Hillel is not a dating service...
There are, however, a good number of married couples who credit Hillel with introducing them to their beshert (soulmate). It would seem that these matches are solidly rooted in faith, tradition and spirituality. Many of them are. But, as this month's feature article depicts, Jews are not immune to relationship abuse.
The issue is especially prevalent on college campuses, where students are isolated from family and struggling to create their own identity. What might seem like harmless, or perhaps tasteless, remarks can be deeply damaging to one's self-esteem and when they come from a boyfriend or girlfriend they are easily internalized. Verbal insults and put-downs can significantantly impact a person's emotional growth. And the damage is easy to ignore when it seems to be coming from a reliable source.
In Judaism, we are taught that a beshert is a happily ever after. As idealistic college students, we might be more willing to ignore warning signs that our "nice Jewish boyfriend" isn't so nice. We might laugh along when our friend berates her boyfriend in public. We might continue dating people we know are bad for us because we like the way our "in a relationship" status looks on Facebook.
As you will read in this month's feature story, "Jews Who Abuse: Dating Violence on Campus," 1 in 5 college students reports dating abuse in a current relationship. It has become a common problem on college campuses throughout the United States and overseas.
I encourage you to read the student stories and begin (or continue) to make good decisions about your romantic relationships.
B'shalom,
Danielle Freni
Editor, Hillel Campus Report
dfreni@hillel.org
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