Parshat Chayei Sarah

2000

Love at First Sight, or Just Like the Gal Who Married Dear Old Dad?

This parsha begins with the death of Sarah and endswith the union of Yitzhak and Rivka. Avraham had senthis trusted assistant Eleazar to find a wife for his sonYitzhak. He brings Rivkah back to Cana'an and the Torah relates to us what occurs as they approach.

"And Rivkah lifted up her eyes and she saw Yitzhak, and she came down from the camel. And she said to the servant, 'who is this man that walks in the field to meet us?' And the servant said, 'It is my master.' And she took the veil and covered herself. And the servant told Yitzhak all the things that he had done. And Yitzhak brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother, and he took Rivkah, and she became his wife, and he loved her. And Yitzhak was comforted for his mother." (Genesis 24:64-67)

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This strange interplay between our patriarch Yitzhak and our matriarch Rivkah is their first face-to-face meeting. No words are directly exchanged between them in the text, but their body language is revealing. The midrash (as quoted by Rashi) tells us that Rivkah was somewhat taken when she first saw Yitzhak, although she has to ask Eleazar (referred to as the servant in this chapter) who he is. First, however, she gets off her camel, perhaps for a better look. When she is informed that the young man is her intended she veils herself. This ancient form of courtship, preceded in this case by a pre-arranged parent-approved betrothal, is nonetheless charming for both the attraction displayed as well as the modesty and coyness of the initial approach.

Rivkah is entering a well-established and large household, and is immediately assuming the position of the highest- ranking female, her mother-in-law Sarah had recently passed away. In such a class-conscious society, this was a daunting task for one so young and inexperienced.

The Sefer Haggadah teaches us that "all of the time that Sarah lived, the Divine Presence hovered over her tent, and when she died it disappeared. As soon as Rivkah came, the Divine Presence reappeared. So long as Sarah lived, the doors of her tent were wide open; when she died that kind of hospitality departed. But when Rivkah came it was re-instituted. All the time that Sarah lived, there was the blessing of charity with her sustenance; when she died that also departed. But with Rivkah's coming it was brought back. So long as Sarah lived, the lamp of piety burned in her tent from Shabbat to Shabbat; when Sarah died, that lamp was extinguished. But when Rivkah came, it was rekindled."

Rivkah's own merit resulted in the gifts she brought to her new home and family, as she did not have the advantage of Sarah's tutelage. Yitzhak apparently learned this about her as well, since the text relates to us that first he brought her into Sarah's tent and only later did the
relationship develop. Rivkah is given both a physical as well as a spiritual space in which to grow and develop as a woman and a matriarch in her own right. It is only then that the Torah continues, telling us that Yitzhak loved her and was comforted for the loss of his mother.

In these few short verses the Torah beautifully relates how two perfect strangers begin a lifelong relationship by taking the time and giving one another the space to let the relationship grow and develop. Rivkah is allowed to use her own gifts, and to bring them to the household,
and thus she becomes one of the strongest of our Torah matriarchs and a pivotal player in the unfolding of our national saga.

Prepared by Rabbi Joseph Topek, Director, Hillel Foundation for Jewish Life State University of New York at Stony Brook