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Parshat Vayigash
2006
Family Ties
When reading this week's Torah portion, I can't help recall the Los Angeles production of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat." I went with my entire family to see the show, and during the car ride home, we sang the songs, talked about the costumes and special effects and recounted our favorite parts. Now, living so far from my family, I think back on those times with a huge smile - when we were all together, living in the same city. It's no wonder Joseph finally broke down when Judah reminded him of their father and family!
This portion starts just after the goblet is found in Benjamin's sack and the brothers return to Pharaoh as a "guilty" party. In an attempt to sidestep any more hurt and heartache for Jacob, Judah first offers all of the brothers as slaves (including Benjamin). Joseph doesn't like this offer and requests only Benjamin. Again, in an act of courage and determination, Judah tells Joseph about the aging Jacob and his suffering from the loss of his beloved son. Judah concludes that he should "remain as a slave to my lord instead of the boy, and let the boy go back with his brothers. For how can I go back to my father unless the boy is with me? Let me not be witness to the woe that would overtake my father!" (If that's not Jewish guilt and family love, then I don't know what is.)
Joseph breaks. He sends away all of the surrounding parties to leave him and his brothers alone so that he, too, can reveal his emotions and himself. Rabbi Charles Savenor of the Jewish Theological Seminary says that Joseph "loses control of his emotions because not only will his brothers be reunited, but also humanity has finally proven that it can shoulder the responsibility of brotherhood." I don't know if I would go so far as to say that about humanity, but it is apparent that Joseph doesn't want his family to be tormented anymore-not Judah, nor Jacob nor himself. The end of the portion finds the house of Jacob (all 70 of them) together "in the choicest part of the land of Egypt" and taken care of by Joseph.
But what if a family can't be physically together, providing for each other? How are they to be close and not lose touch? This situation is familiar to the Jewish college student or young professional who, more often than not, has moved away for a new experience. This removed family member has to make an effort in order to sustain the closeness. A fall, winter or summer break trip home may do the trick. Some families go on vacation together, others have unlimited long distance plans.
No matter what works for that family and that family member, Joseph's story gives a few pieces of advice:
Be emotionally open. Without both Judah and Joseph's emotional words, the family would not have been brought together again.
Do what you can to help them be successful. Joseph coaches his brothers to say that they are shepherds, when asked by Pharaoh of their occupation, to ensure their stay in the land.
Reconnecting can be joyous.
I can't recreate the experience I had with my family back in Los Angeles at the Pantages Theater-but what I can do is call often, visit periodically and always continue to have memories to share.
May you and your families have a wonderful new year.
Prepared by Debbie Shapiro, Soref senior associate for campus advancement.
Learn More
Additional commentaries and text studies on Parshat Vayigash at MyJewishLearning.com.
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