Living with Hope and Pride
“Hope will never be silent.”
The gay Jewish American who spoke these words, Harvey Milk, is the kind of mensch I aspire to be in my journey as a queer Jew. By living my queer and Jewish identities proud and out loud, I honor not only Harvey Milk, who was the first openly gay man to be elected to public office in California, but everyone past and present who has carved out a space for Jewish LGBTQ+ people and given us hope for an equal world.
My name is Becky, my pronouns are they/them, and I am a queer and nonbinary Jewish graduate student living in Raleigh, North Carolina, where I moved for my master’s program in linguistics.
Every year in May, I celebrate Jewish American Heritage Month, and every year in June, I celebrate Pride Month, a period of time dedicated to honoring my community and who I am. But since October 7, 2023, this time of the year has shifted, as I have felt immense pressure to celebrate and live my Jewish and queer identities separately.
In the months following October 7, just as I was settling into graduate school in a new state, my community of friends rapidly dwindled. Most of my LGBTQ+ friends who were not Jewish backed out of my life without a single word, no communication except an unfollow on Instagram. They decided they would no longer associate with Zionists, even ones they’d known for years. Then some of my Jewish friends felt so unwelcome and unsafe in other campus communities that they began to withdraw from the LGBTQ+ spaces where I felt at home, leaving me without friends and a community where I could celebrate my full self.
It is heartbreaking beyond words to be cast away so abruptly by people you thought would be in your life for years. And so I decided it was time to get involved with Hillel beyond my campus, whose values and mission have always so closely aligned with my own. It is doubly reassuring to know that my current friendships that I have found since getting involved at Hillel are that much stronger thanks to the challenges we faced together.
Today, most of my closest friends exist at the same intersection that I do: they’re LGBTQ+ and they’re Jewish. We share the values that we learned at Hillel: that all kinds of Jewish students are welcome and valued. We have found joy and fulfillment in integrating and celebrating all facets of our identities. We understand that each of us are complex, vibrant people and we deserve to live all parts of ourselves openly and freely. I love this community I have found more than anything. This Pride month, I’m celebrating them.
And though, sadly, Harvey Milk was assassinated in 1978, I’m channeling his dreams as an activist for the LGBTQ+ community. While he never lived to see how much of a difference he made, his legacy of joy, of community, and of hope continues to resonate with me and propel me forward. His words still echo loudly in my ears.